Handcuffs for Sex: 4 Rookie Mistakes (and 4 Pro Tips)

To the average observer, handcuffs for sex look like a benign way to spice things up in the bedroom. For many of us, the mere idea of being bound and teased is enough to rock our socks, until you’re blessed with that show-stopping image of you cuffed to the bedposts post-coitus while your partner searches amid the dust bunnies for the key to the sex handcuffs. “It was right here, I swear!”

So, without further ado, here are 4 mistakes that will reduce your Washington Monument (or your partner’s) to a pile of rubble in a matter of seconds. Avoid them, won’t you?

Sex Handcuff Mistakes to Avoid

1. Failure to check the key. Doesn’t matter that it came with the sex handcuffs. Doesn’t matter that you checked it yesterday. Make sure the key works, and that the lock is working smoothly. Before you lock the handcuffs for sex around your partner’s dainty wrist, if you please.

2. Losing the key. Now that you’re sure it works, stick it somewhere safe. This means taking away from the site of the action – you don’t want to be crawling around on the floor during cuddle time trying to find your soft handcuffs, now do you? Put it in a drawer, a cupboard, anywhere it’s easy to find and not likely to be disturbed.

3. Leaving your lover cuffed. Just don’t do it – period. No matter how fun or exciting it may feel to have a sex slave waiting at home to serve your every need, make sure your lover has an out. Not only does this allow escape if he or she gets cold feed (literally or figuratively), but also if, god forbid, there’s a fire or other emergency.

4. Cuffing too tightly. Think about it this way: a little discomfort is fun. A lot of discomfort is distracting, leaves marks and is hard to explain to the boss the next day. Keep ‘em a little loose, or try a pair of soft handcuffs like the faux-fur Cuff Love or Furry Love Cuffs.

Sex Handcuffs Tips for Pros

Now, if you’ve read these warnings and are still feeling up for a little light bondage, try these pro tips to ensure sex with handcuffs is as amazing as it should be:

1. Add a blindfold. Or a pair of headphones playing white noise or soft music. Sensory deprivation heightens awareness and means each and every touch is savored. Heightened awareness without the ability to predict, respond or otherwise control the situation? Sublime.

2. Bring a (battery operated) friend. A little vibration, perhaps? The dual-action Lelo Soraya takes rabbit-style vibes to a whole new level and will have her squirming against those restraints in no time. The Lelo Tor is an excellent choice for him – it’s the quiet little friend every guy needs to stay tall and happy. Check out these awesome vibrators for orgasm.

3. Take your turn. Like all restraints, handcuffs for sex require complete trust in one’s partner. Swapping places shows faith and establishes equality within the relationship. C’mon, top – you know you’ve always longed to be a switch!

4. Use a water-based lube. You can never be too rich, too skinny, or have enough lube. Well, at least we like to think so. Say it again with me: A little discomfort is good, a lot of discomforts is no fun for anyone. And remember use water based lubes for silicone toys unless you really, really want to get attached to your vibe… Check out these great lubes.

Bonus tip: While you’re at it, that second key? You know, the extra that came with the cuffs and that you’re storing together with Key #1? Put it in the kitchen with the spoons, on your regular keychain, or in your mailbox. Anywhere safe is fine, as long as Key #1 and Key #2 are separated.

Using handcuffs for sex is the perfect way to spice things up or experiment with bondage and role play. Done properly, you’ve nothing to lose and countless nights of pleasure to gain.  Have your own tips for the perfect handcuff sex? Leave them in the comments below.